Weird Topic? No, not at all. I have had a few individuals inform me just recently, that they sometimes feel faithless, and empty in their spirit.
I loved the times, when I was a still a baby in my faith (when the Lords spirit was tangible) and I knew that I knew, with every breath in my body, that God truly does live both in us and around us. Then I matured in my faith, and the storms came, and the doubt set in, (like Peter on the water) and many times, my faith waivered. I made (and sometimes still make the mistake of basing my faith on my emotions), but I’ll get back to that a bit later.
It so true what one pastor said (one who I truly admire). He explains that there were times in his life, where he himself, had doubted his faith, but in those times he also noticed he was never really connected to the word of God. He felt disconnected. I have felt on so many occasions and instances, disconnected, where I doubted my prayers were even being heard by God, which inevitably, led to me doubting the existence of God. I think it is important to acknowledge that we are all human and times of doubt will occur in our lives. In fact, even Jesus felt like God left him at one stage, when he said on the cross, “Father, why have you forsaken me”? Many men and woman in ministry put on this facade that they are some kind of super-being in their faith; I think we sometimes do this, to set an example to those around us and to those who look up to us. Of course there are many other reasons, but I think those one’s stand out the most (well for me anyway).
I know how horrible it feels (or must feel) to doubt God and whether he is even paying attention to our lives and what’s happening in them. I mean the very thing I base my life on, I doubted. A life without Christ (to me), is a worthless one. So what do I do in those times of doubt and confusion? Well, I never ever (and you should try to) base my faith on feelings and emotions, as they are fickle (up, down) and they come and go. My encouragement to you is the following: To always base your faith, on the sense that the gospel makes, the freedom that it brings and the presence of the Holy Spirit living inside of you.
Remember you will feel faithless at times and there will be times when you will doubt Gods presence in your life. I don’t believe it makes you a sinner, instead I believe it is evident that you are human. Even during the times, where we doubt and are of little faith, I believe the Lord is truly with us, knowing and acknowledging our every thought and feeling. I find comfort in knowing that God knows that I am human, that I’m going to slip and fall. I find joy in knowing that he is right there to pick us up every time we do fall.
He is always there- he is omnipresent and he will never leave nor forsake us- this is my comfort and this is my joy.